Not Very Christlike But Could Be Fun

Today I got a pix message on my phone from a number I didn't recognize, but somehow I opened the message before seeing who sent it. Butterfingers. The pix was some cartoon thingy that you could probably download at pornocards.com. (Don't go there. I just made it up.) It said Happy Thanksgiving and had a really lewd and inappropriate moving image for any day of the week, but especially right after church, for Pete's sake!
Then I replied: Who are you?
Then he replied: Mystery.
Then I called the number and I get a whispery, "Hello." Whereupon I launched in to a who-are-you?-I-don't-think-you-know-me-tirade, but he hung up.
Then he texted me: What do u want im in church.
I wrote: I don't think you know who I am. The pix message was in poor taste. Please tell me who you are or I will find out and file charges.
He wrote: What charges? I think your threats r as poor as ur charecter.
The spelling errors are his.
He also sent me another pix.
I was really upset. I called my neighbor who is a cop. He said I could call the local police and they could find him and charge him with telephone harrassment and lewdness. He thought it sounded like a teenage prank.
I then had to go visit some people. When I came back, I wasn't so upset and didn't think I'd call the cops on him. But I did think that I could give him a taste of his own medicine.
I'm torn. Do I just let it go and not give this guy any more of my time? Or do I plan an all out assault involving lots of public phones. Or maybe even my friends' cell phones. Or a KSL.com personal ad. Hmmm...I could have a lot of fun getting under his skin.
Well, I'm still deciding. BUT, here's his number, in case you already have decided.
HAVE FUN!
801-548-1457

drama

There was drama for FHE. I had decided that it was culture night for family night and announced that we were going to see "Pericles" (y'know, for kids), at the Orem Library (for free!) at 7 o'clock. Things were going along swimmingly with the getting of the dinner made and eaten and the getting of the shoes on. (Even the getting of the littlest bathed and in jammies--why can't I go to Shakespeare at the Library in my jammies?) We were in the truck at 6:30. Plenty of time to get good seats in the storytelling wing.
Except if, as you're getting off the freeway at Center Street, the car next to you hits a pedestrian and drives away!
And you thought I was talking about the play when I said drama. Silly you.
Well the Rose partly pulls over and jumps out of the car and runs to the 12th West intersection, chasing down the hitter. He is joined by another witness. As he walks back, I see him whip out his handy dandy notebook and jot down the license plate. He is a man on a mission. Meanwhile, another lady attends to the hitted. She is mostly just shaken up but is sitting on a precarious stretch of burm next to the off ramp. The Rose joins them. I decided to stay in the truck with my brood, hazards on.
Shortly, but very shortly, a police car is behind us with lights a-flashing. I'm about to get out and explain why we're parked in the right hand turn lane when I see the second witness approach the police car. Ambulance and Fire Truck arrive at the scene. I decide that the hitted is not the only one in a precarious location and move the truck on to 12th West on the south side of the intersection. The Rose calls me. "They want me to give a statement. I don't know how long it will take."
Sheesh. And we were doing so well. I was thinking to myself, "How bad is it that I still hope we make the show?"
Long story short (What? Too late? You know me...):
Hitted wasn't even taken away in the ambulance.
Hitter didn't run.
And we made the show. And it was good. How we love the Jolly Porter.

31:41

I arrived at the Rotary Park in West Provo at 8:00 am when they began registration and one hour before the race began. I signed up and got my sticker. (This was a kind of casual run, with all monies going to Nie Recovery.)
It was a bit long to wait but I was eager. There was another early bird who seemed lost and nervous, just like me. This was her first race and she said she hadn't been to the gym in a month. I felt pretty good about my condition, as I've been training for 8 weeks (slow and steady...)for this.
But let me bore you with the short story made long. Near the end of my high school career, I realized that I could be in serious trouble, fitness-wise, if I didn't find something active that I liked to do. You see, sports and me, we don't get on well. I played high school volley ball my freshman year. We won a game. After that, I went back to the drama a choir rooms where I belonged, never more to sally forth into the gym but for the mandatory pep rally or don't do drugs assembly.
So, I needed something to keep me from turning into an unhealthy blob. I figured running was a safe bet since all the equipment I needed was a pair of good shoes and a street and all the skill I needed was to be able to put one foot in front of the other. (Although, at times, that too has proven to be a challenge.) So, I ran. Sometimes. Without much purpose or progress. Then, as I began college, I coerced a friend of my sister, recently returned from a mission, and a former cross country runner to run with me. He ran across town to my house, ran with me, and ran back home. He was patient as my early endurance efforts carried me a full two blocks. He taught me form, skills for running up and down hills, and breathing techniques. (Turns out there is a little more to running than just strapping on a pair of shoes and going.)He encouraged me to go a little farther. And in the couple of months that we ran, I acheived the great distance of 2.25 miles. A feat I never thought I could accomplish.
Then I went to BYU and ran sometimes with my roommates. Then a mission and I ran sometimes with a companion. Then marriage and I tried kickboxing and weight training. Then in 2004, I was feeling like I was not finishing anything in my life. I was discouraged at my lack of discipline and determination and focus. I set my sights on a 10K. I used Hal Higdon's training guide for novices and in June of 2004, I ran the Salt Lake City Classic. They ran out of cups at the first three water stations before I got there so I didn't stop to hydrate. By the mile four marker, I just used my hands. Right after that was a steep hill. I walked. I walked one other portion too. I finished in 1 hour and 12 minutes. But I finished. And after giving The Rose and Mr. Man a sweaty hug, I went into the port-o-john and wept. It was awesome. I was hooked on the experience.
Then I got pregnant. Then I got pregnant again. People in better shape and with more, I don't know, awesomeness than me run through the second trimester (Marika) and others run a marathon four months pregnant (Mary), but not me.
So here I am, baby three is 17 months old and I have finally committed to the inevitable. I will run a marathon. Furthermore, I will run a marathon next year. There, I've said it. Now you all have to hold me to it.

Back to yesterday.
Almost. I was using Hal Higdon's 8 week training for a 5K and new my 5K date was October 18. I also knew I would be playing Simon Cowell at Open Auditions that day. I also did not know of any 5K in the area on October 18. Until it was announced that there would be a 5K benefitting Stephanie Nielson on the very day that I was scheduled to run a 5K.
Alisa was very generous and allowed me to be late to Open Auditions. She even made stickers for all the adjudicators to wear about the run. (Thanks Alisa! That was awesome!)
I placed myself near the beginning of the crowd to start and was quickly overtaken by half of the mass. For the first mile, I couldn't feel my feet. I hadn't realized they were so cold. I heard some other runners talking about it. It was comforting to know I wasn't suffering some bizarre neurological malady. The course took us through some quiet residential neighborhoods in the Grandview area of town. Early on, my nervous new friend from before the run, passed me by, but I caught her with about 3/4 of a mile to go. She gave me words of encouragement as I passed her and I huffed something encouraging back. I was feeling pretty strong, though and pleased that I had paced myself. The last quarter mile, with the finish in sight, I found an extra gear (maybe just a half gear), lengthened my stride and finished amidst a crowd of well wishers. Then I heard, "Cotton!" (OK, he used my real name.) There was My Canadian Rose, The Princess, and Mr. Boy. I was so happy to see them. The Rose had worked until 3 that morning, so I wasn't sure if he was going to be up to the task of getting himself up, let alone getting two others ready. (Mr. Man opted for sleeping in.)
Here's me. All sweaty and red faced in my very fashionable Pepto-Bismol colored running gear. Maybe for Christmas I'll ask Santa for some fancy schmancy, high-tech running clothes.

Where I'll Be Tomorrow Morning

Another Reason I Love This Woman

Thompson: 'Motherhood Outweighs Acting Success'
4 October 2008 7:24 AM, PDT

British actress Emma Thompson regards "giving birth without painkillers" as her biggest accomplishment in life, despite scooping two Oscars for her film work.

The Love Actually star, 49, went through in vitro fertilisation (IVF) treatment to have her only daughter Gaia, nine, with actor husband Greg Wise.

And she admits that she is more proud of going into labour without the need for drugs than she is about her career success.

She tells Britain's Easy Living magazine that her happiest moment was "just after giving birth without painkillers".

However, she confesses to harbouring an unfulfilled ambition - to expand her family.

When asked what her biggest regret was, she told the publication: "Not having been able to have more children."

Thompson turned to adoption in 2003 when she informally took in then 16-year-old Rwandan refugee Tindyebwa Agaba, who she refers to as "my son".



I know a lot of women who have done just what she has done (myself included-except the adopting a Rwandan refugee--it's on my to-do list)and don't get a write up in a magazine, but she's always been on my cool people list (I have a lot of lists)and now she can stay there.

Did I ever tell you about the time in college when my rommies and I invented the "Every Woman Club?" (Y'know, like "I'm every woman, it's all in me!")We did and on the wave of her receiving an Academy Award in screenwriting for Sense and Sensibility, I wrote a letter to Emma Thompson (C/o her management firm) asking her to be the Patron Saint of our club. I'm sure if she new me, she would have understood the tone of the letter and would have realized that I wasn't just some psycho fan asking for a handout. Yes, were she to really know me, we would be best friends and the response from her manager would have been different. I'm sure of it!

Preschool Part One

This week I had the profound pleasure of teaching preschool to The Princess and four neighborhood friends. I will have this privilege every five weeks.
Our theme for the week was COLOR.
We sang Rainbows.
"Red and yellow and pink and green. Purple and orange and blue. I can sing a rainbow, sing a rainbow, sing a rainbow too. Listen with your eyes. Listen with your eyes. And sing every thing you see. You can sing a rainbow, sing a rainbow, sing along with me."
We planted Rainbows.

We made Rainbows.


These are such sweet little ones. So curious and full of energy. I even think some of their energy rubbed off on me and I got through the day in better spirits than my amount of sleep would have normally allowed. A friend once said, "Three year olds are so delicious that they should be dipped in chocolate and sold in department stores during Easter."
A.MEN.

Family Cookies

From an FHE lesson:
Families are like a cookie recipe. Each ingredient is, at most, ok on it's own, but put them all together and you have something scrumptious!
We made these cookies together the other night. They are DE-LISH! And they are henceforward to be known as "Family Cookies."


Here's the recipe, but be sure that each member of the family adds an ingredient and gets a chance to stir.

1 cup brown sugar, packed
1 cup white sugar
1 cup butter, softened
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 eggs
2 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups quick oatmeal
1 cup milk chocolate chips

Mix together the first five ingredients until creamy. Add remaining ingredients. Spoon onto cookie sheets and bake at 400 degrees for 7-8 minutes. (Made 3 dozen for us.)

Oh, and this was our first big tomato from our garden. (And it's already September! Am I going to get anymore before the first frost?)

Saturday Night at My House

Saturday is a special day.

About a minute after I took this photo. Mr. Boy pooed in the tub. And not a nice neat self contained nugget either.

If The Princess has to get her hair combed, then so does Daddy.

PUBLIC ENEMY #1

Destroy on sight!

Here's Something I Can Do

Something I've decided to do to keep up with my family, is read all their blogs. I just spent about an hour virtually catching up with sisters and cousins. It was awesome! My family are (is?) so fun. And attractive, if I do say so myself. I'm changing some of my sidebar to include family members' blogs that haven't previously appeared. (This will also save me from returning to my baby sister's blog to find links to all of them. It seems she's way ahead of me in the whole keeping up witht the family idea.)

So, if you're reading this and you're related to me and you have a blog and it's not on the side bar, please leave a comment, and I'll add you, Cuz!

Oh, here's something bad that happened today (or last night). I'm growing watermelons and Charantais melons (a very classy French variety, because I am a snob and cannot just grow cantaloupe like everyone else) in my front side yard next to my fence. Nothing else is growing there and it's very sunny, so why not? I'll tell you why not: Little vandals will come and steal the only three watermelons that were likely to ripen before the frost BEFORE they were even ripe!Here's the biggest watermelon that was melon-napped.

I was really having a hard time with this. My garden has become my fourth child. I take all of its successes and failures to heart. Really. To heart.
But then I counted three more Charantais melons than I had noticed before and decided that was a Tender Mercy and my reward for going to the adult session of Stake Conference. Here are the Charantais:
So all's well that ends well!
(Except, I really wanted to try those little watermelons! Grrrrrr......)

Another Fresh Start?

Hello out there in Blog Readershipdom,

I really don't know how many of you out there there are, but one of my faithful readers has been my cousin. She posted a comment on the post entitled "Yeah, Yeah, Yeah." The next day she was in a car accident and is now paralyzed from the chest down. After reading her comment I thought I'd buzz a note back to her, but decided to wait until later. (Gosh, this is sounding like a super sappy email. Sorry.) That she was faithful (for lack of a better word at the moment) to me and I was not to her has been a source of considerable guilt and one of the reasons I've not posted in a bit. A few weeks ago, as I mentioned in the previous post, the sister of some friends of mine were in a terrible airplane accident. I have witnessed, through the blogging world, their family rally around each other. Their devotion to one another is very evident. Without saying that my family doesn't share this same devotion, because I think we do, I will say that I want that for my family. I'm making a conscious decision to strive for that. Frankly, I'm finding that it's kind of a lot of work. But I want to be up on what my sisters and cousins and in-laws are doing and cheer them on. I want them to know that I am a fan. I want my children and The Rose to really know that I love them and create solidarity among us. I want to be faithful to my family.
I'm not really sure what this all means or how I'll put it into practice, but I just thought I'd put it out there.

Wanting to help out

Hello folks,

I have alot to talk about and explain, but for now, just let me direct your attention to the new sidebar "Donate to NieNie." A sister and brother-in-law of friends were in a plane crash and will be in the hospital for months. They have have four children who are staying with my friends right now and they will have mounting medical bills. For more information, visit www.nierecovery.com.

More to come!

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Today I had lunch with the Canadian Rose's Canadian cousin and wife and sister-in-law (and the Rose, of course). I don't get out much (three kids)so I put on make up and my new farmer's market jewelry and I even quickly painted my toenails (they look so naked in sandals without). The Rose caught sight of me while I was shepherding The Princess in to put a barrett in her hair.
I think I saw a double take.

The Rose: You look nice.
Me: *blush*smile* Thank you.

He loves me.

P.S. I Hate You

So, I don't get out much (three kids) and my Blockbuster Online account is my sole access to the real world. I rarely see movies in first run theatres which is a big change from a few years ago when we would go see at least one a week, but with the addition of two more children, no can do.
Last night Father and Oldest Son went to an Owlz game. It was important bonding time that I heartily encouraged. They couldn't possibly have known that (ohh, time for a tangent. Most of you know all our names, but I'm trying out monikers to protect my family from...well, "kooks that konk" (grandma's phrase) on the internet, I guess. So we will be known as The Canadian Rose, Cotton, Mr. Man, The Princess, and Mr. Boy.)
Back to the story. They couldn't have known Mr. Boy would go Exorcist at the dinner table. Well, he's 13 months old and I can't possibly keep track of everything that goes into his mouth. I'm guessing that's what did it, whatever it was. Boy did it do a doozy on him. I got him bathed and put down and then The Princess. Then it was time for me to sit down with a much deserved chick flick and attend to some wrinkly laundry. The movie of choice was P.S. I Love You. I didn't know anything about this movie (except that Gerard Butler was in it and my mother-in-law read the book and liked it)and there was no trailer on the DVD. So I didn't know that 10 minutes into the film, just after you are totally in love with Monsieur Butler because of this sexy (and by sexy, I mean funny sexy, which is WAY sexier than just plain sexy)dance that he does in shamrock boxers, suspenders, and socks--10 minutes into the film, you are at his funeral!?! Well, thank you very much. There may be a certain lunar tug on my hormones presently, that may have exacerbated the situation, but I had a headache at the end of the film from crying ALL THE WAY THROUGH IT! Stupid movie.
Also, I was interrupted part way through by Mr. Boy puking and the other end also. So, I'm bawling already and there's my baby with grey skin, purple lips, and black circles for eye sockets. And stiiiink-EE! He got his second bath, sheets were changed, The Canadian Rose was called. (I love the part of mothering where I get to actually comfort and nurture. I just don't like that the babies have to be sick or hurt for that. Also, someone else could be on clean up duty.)
But, I couldn't leave the movie where it was. I had to see it through! I'd invested too much emotion not to get my happy ending! I brought Mr. Boy, a towel, and the puke bucket back down to finish the movie. He watched a lot of it lethargically with his head on my lap and puked (mostly dry heaved) a couple more times, and I continued to sob. Stupid movie.
The Canadian Rose and Mr. Man made it home around midnight (13 innings)and The Rose says Mr. Boy "looks like the dead kid in Pet Semetary." Yeah, I know.
Well, I finished the movie, Mr. Boy puked one last time, then drank a cup of water, and returned to the land of the living before dozing off to a solid night's sleep.
And I dreamed of kissing an amalgam of The Canadian Rose and Gerard Butler.
All's well that ends well, no?

Your Civic Duty

This week we had the opportunity to vote. I cannot express strongly enough how important this step is for each and everyone of us in our daily lives. The privilege, the duty, nay, even the honor of this sacred act is a blessing we should not take lightly. In this small way every person, no matter his station can help shape the future. We vote to keep those who exemplify our ideals. Our vote rids us of those who are no longer keeping up.

So I just want to know...who did you vote for?

1. Twitch and Kheringon
2. Gev and Courtney
3. Christ and Comfort
4. Will and Jessica
5. Matt and Kourtni
6. Thayne and Chelsea
7. Mark and Chelsie
8. Joshua and Katee


If you don't know what I'm talking about, click here.

Goin' Steady

It's kind of like getting baptized or getting married. It's a public admission to a commitment. It makes it more significant. I'm committed to making changes for the better, even if those who know me may call me a hypocrite for all the ways I'm being unfaithful. All I have to say is, it's a process. But just so's you know I'm committed, I hereby
PUBLISH THE BANS

I Know What Boys Like

So, Moira had her first dance concert tonight (twice and three times tomorrow). I really enjoyed making her up like Jon Benet way too much. Well, no one in her class froze. They all wiggled and kicked and all that jazz. Go Mo!
But sitting in the green room looking at all the different classes in their costumes, I had this sick feeling that I was in a virtual reality room of all possible male fantasies.
School girl uniforms
Cheerleaders
Swiss Misses
French maids
Flashdance off-the-shoulder number
Mechanics in Daisy Dukes (female, of course)
Prom Queens
Cow Girls
Janes (as in Tarzan and...)
Gangsta Chicks
and, my own favorite...

Little Girls

Did I miss any?

What does this observation say about me?

Fantasy Mogul

Check out my Fantasy Moguls movie slate!

Deception (formerly The List)

Stuck

When Did You Last See Your Father

Get in the game at fantasymoguls.com!

Want It, Need It, Gotta Have It!

Buy the T-shirt!

My friend has created some cool T-shirts. Here they are.

make custom gifts at Zazzle

Your Life in Six Words

Ok, so in an attempt to shake off the late winter blues that so obviously had me in their clutches when I posted last, I am posting something of a game. And it needs audience participation, which could really backfire since my "readership" has dwindled due to my unreliable posting habits. So this post may remain until I've had my fill of fun.
My Darling Lise sent me the link attached to the title of this post about a book written by and about lots of average joes like you and me.
Basically, it's like this. Someone asked Hemingway to write a story in six words. He wrote: For Sale: Baby shoes; never worn. This book contains autobiographies in six words--no more, no less.
This is your challenge! Spread the word! I'm excited to read the results.
Here are a few I came up with.

Gonna have it all, in time.

Big dreams. Had kids. Altered dreams.

I never wanted two in diapers.

Happily ever after, but still plotting.

After coming up with these, I've realized this exercize is very revealing. And not necessarily in a flattering way. Nevertheless, they are what I came up with right now. Perhaps I'll write more as this post moulders.

Really Really Super Duper Post

OK, so it's really time for a really truly super duper awesome post. (That's the way Moira talks. Yes, she's two going on 13.) Why? Because I'm feeling sorry for myself. It's 12:30am and I'm not asleep. I just finished watching a movie while folding laundry and Anthony is not home yet. This all plays into the feeling sorry for myself bit, if you'll bear with.
1. I should be sleeping because Marek will wake me up in approximately 3 1/2 hours to eat, even though he is nearly 9 months old and really doesn't need to eat. He's just gotten into the habit since he was sick with puke and diarrhea all last week. I also hafta get up at 7am with Mason to make sure he eats his vitamin, writes a sentence of alliteration, and wears shoes when he goes out the door.
2. I can only watch a movie if I am also folding laundry, ironing, crocheting or knitting, or because it is designated family movie night (Fridays). Self imposed restriction.
3. I was going to check my email really quick before going to bed and then I started reading...oh, hang on, Marek is crying...Ok, I'm back. I would have killed myself long ago if not for binkies, bless them. So, I started reading some blogs and I thought, "I really need to go to bed." (See #1)
4. Anthony has had really steady work lately. It's great! It's just reduced our relationship to a couple of texts a day.
So I'm doing something that I want to do but always run out of time for so I never do.
What is it I wanted to say?....

Austen Heroine

Take the Quiz here!

Agree? Disagree? Who are you?