Adventures in Character Development Parte the First

So, I'm in the play Much Ado About Nothing. I'm very excited to be in it. I'm playing a female version of Don John (the Keanu Reeves character). I looked forward to the auditions for many months and when the time came to audition, I prepared a fair amount, I'd say. I was very anxious to be a part of the show. First of all, it's Shakespeare and I'd only ever done scenes of Shakespeare in acting classes. To conclude, it's being done at Provo Theatre Company which is "Utah County's Only Professional Theatre." Sixth, and lastly, the director is really cool and knows his Shakespeare. I felt pretty good about my audition. And I certainly know that all you can do in an audition is your best because you can't control if you're too tall, or if someone thinks you have funny speech patterns, or if someone else is sleeping with some decision maker.
I was thrilled to get the call that I had been cast.

And then I panicked.

When I was accepted to film school, I more or less left acting for about 10 years to pursue behind the scenes stuff. After I had been working as a casting director for a year or so I decided it was time to throw my hat in the ring again. I was not very familiar with local theatres so I just called them all to find out about upcoming auditions. I was soon cast in a production of Servant of Two Masters playing Beatrice. It was a bad production. For example, one of the director's directions to some young cast members was "Show some feeling in this scene." His instruction to us the night before we opened was, "Make sure you have your lines and blocking memorized."
After that, I got an agent for film work and actually got a couple of commercials and a small part in a movie that was mercifully excluded from the final cut. All of that, though, is just snippets of character. A few lines. Thirty seconds of air time. Certainly nothing you have to sustain. Nothing to sink one's teeth into.

Thus the panic. It's really been a long time. What if I can't really do this? What if I actually suck and nobody's told me yet but they're all thinking it?

The third day of rehearsal we were blocking the scenes I'm in and I was a stone. A dull, feelingless stone devoid of any creative spark. I knew I could see behind Chris's eyes regret at having cast me. Was the young actor playing Conrad repulsed at having to play opposite and old hag like me? I thought so. At work the next day I told Alisa of my feelings of being woefully inadequate. She was supportive and assured me that she knew I could and would do great and make it funny. After all, she reminded me, we've only had three reahearsals.

Armed with reassurances from her and dear Anthony, I worked on my lines during the week and thought about character in preparation for the first act blocking run through on Saturday.
I found a picture of a dress that was used in a film in 1918(the year we're setting the play) that gave me an image. And, although I've got more time to work this out, here's where I'm headed: Equal parts spider, snake and Norma Desmond.


And Saturday's rehearsal went so much better.
I'm just going to ignore what's behind Chris's eyes.