Musings on Death

Occasionally my son likes to ask the big questions like "what is divorce," "what is an ice age," "if I fell into liquid hot magma and died, would I ever see you again," and "what does it feel like to die." This last one was something that came up just a few days ago. I answered that I didn't suppose that the actual dying felt like anything. But then added, "Course, if you were being eaten by a bear, it would probably be really painful and scary before you actually died." I like to keep it real for my kids. I mean, if I don't play straight with them, who's gonna?
So then I was thinking about my preferred manner of death and I thought about Eowyn of Rohan who said, "I fear neither death nor pain." Then Aragorn asks her, "What do you fear, my lady?" And she answers, "A cage. To stay behind bars until use and old age accept them. And all chance of valor has gone beyond recall or desire."
I don't know if I fear death. I think I fear being without my family. I fear them being without me. (But that's probably vanity.) But I do think I'm not a big fan of pain. Although I did give birth sans medication less than six months ago. So maybe I could handle pain too. To be honest, I used to be a romantic, but old age has made me a realist. I don't need to go out in a blaze of glory. I don't need to prove my valor on the battlefield like the sheild maiden of Rohan. I think I would like to live a full life and have full mental and physical capacity until the end. And then, one night, my spirit could just slip home. Maybe that's the most romantic notion yet!