Vanity Fair

My "Covetous" post has inspired me to begin my soul baring by writing a series of posts on how I am guilty of the seven deadly sins. The last post was ENVY; this one will be PRIDE.

I discovered in the last week and a half that I am easily flattered. You could get me to do anything by merely convincing me that I'd be good at it. In this case, the "anything" was auditioning for a musical which is something I haven't done (with good reason) for about thirteen years! Here's how the story goes.

A few weeks ago I found myself chatting with my friend Ben. He asked if I thought I was up for doing a show, so soon after a baby. I said, "Maaaaaybe. Why?" He said that he and his wife, Skye, had just seen Thoroughly Modern Millie at the Hale WVC and each independently had thought that I'd do a smashing job at Mrs. Meers and that the Hale Orem was going to be holding auditions for it soon. I said, "Yeah, but I don't sing or dance." And he said that the role has songs you can "speak/sing" and that the dancing was minimal.
I pondered on the proposition for more than a week. And as I pondered, I found myself thinking less and less of my well known limitations and more and more about how they thought I'd do such a great job. So, I finally decided to do it. I knew I needed help though, so I asked Ben and Skye if they'd help me prepare a song. They came up with a few options and Skye came over Monday night. I also called the the Hale Orem and made an appointment for the audition which would be two days later. Skye and I settled on 16 bars of "Little Girls" from Annie. Well, I practiced and practiced those 16 bars for the next 48 hours until I felt O.K. about it. I knew I couldn't sell it on my pipes alone, so I tried to imbue the audition with character.

Right. So, I go to the audition and as I'm filling out their form, I'm realizing that I'm about to sing. by myself. in front of people. who will be judging me. But I had come this far and this audition had now become a real fear facing moment. (My sister has recently bared her soul about fear here.) So I was going to go through with it. And I did it and I think I did it about as well as I could have. I even got a little laugh--character, y'know. Then the director/choreographer has me belt a wee bit from the show. Even that didn't go too bad and I left that audition feeling O.K. But I still had the dance audition to tackle on Friday--where tap shoes were "recommended." Yikes!
Here are some things that I had going for me leading up to the dance audition:
1. My big toenail ripped halfway down my toe causing me pain when wearing shoes akin to, well, wearing shoes with a big toenail ripped halfway down my toe.
2. Dusty character shoes that no longer fit- I'm guessing it was pregnancy induced foot enlargement.
3. Sleep deprivation. I went to sleep at 12:30am, was awakened by baby M at 3:00am at which time My Canadian Rose arrived home from work. After chatting a few minutes I could no longer sleep--at all. Ergo: 2 1/2 hours of sleep.
4. Dance Experience in the last decade: Dance Dance Revolution.
5. Tap Classes taken...ever--Zero.

How bad could it be, though, right? I actually had learned the difference between a shuffle and a flap when I assistant directed Anything Goes.

As I walked into the auditorium, a group was on stage dancing a sequence to a song from the show. With bug eyes and flaring nostrils I thought, "Holy Schneikies! I'm in way over my head." An hour later it was all over. And, sistuh, child birth ain't got nothin' on a dance audition for humiliation. Not that the director, etc. were unkind. I was just that bad. I eventually got most of the portions of dance separately-when I could keep my balance and wasn't falling over my own feet. But for the life of me I could not string the sequences together. And the very last step we were to do, well, just fuhget about it. How many non-dancer, 33-year-old, two month post partum women do you know that can stand on one foot, grab the heel of the other foot, and slooooowly pull it up over her head. ("Or, just as high as you can, guys. OK?")

And because fate would kick me while I was down, parched as I was, I put 60 cents into the vending machine for a bottle of water (Of course I left mine in the fridge at home!) and it kept my money and withheld the water. Thanks. Just thanks.

But, you know, I'm still thinking I'd do it again. All you have to do is tell me how good I'd be at it!

My Riches

As CJane reminded me, I have three reasons not to covet anybody's anything.

1.

2.

3.

End of Sermon.

Champagne Wishes and Caviar Dreams

You may have noticed, or maybe not because I'm not that important to you, but I've been rather absent from the blogging world. I've not even really been reading the blogs I love. I'm not yet sure why, but I think it has something to do with a particular deadly sin of which I am most guilty. I covet.
I'm quite excellent at coveting. It's a large black spot in my otherwise suprememly pious soul. I started young when one of my favorite shows was Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. I convinced myself at an early age so concretely, that I would one day be on that show, that I believe I have made myself quite miserable. There seems to be something of a disparity between what I think I should have and reality.
I would spend many useful hours uselessly dreaming of the homes I would have in Cannes, London, and New York (still three places I have yet to visit). I also had very expensive taste in cars. Jaguars and Bentleys were always on the list of cars I would one day own. I would also only fly on the Concord or a private jet in my dreams. I would one day be in my Park Avenue apartment about to be chauffeured to an interview with David Letterman, or maybe on Good Morning, America when I'd get a hankering for some Mediterranean sun. So, I'd hop in my jet without even packing because that would be a good excuse to go shopping. But I was also philanthropic with my vast fortune. I would give money to schools I liked for scholarships and any time anyone was on the news with some misfortune where they'd set up an account at a local bank for the community to help out, I'd anonymously donate some outrageous amount.I'm saying this as if it were all in the past. But I gotta be honest. I'm still daydreaming.
My tastes have changed somewhat, but they still run to the out-of-reach.
So, what does this have to do with not blogging? Well, my coveting does not stop at the rather vague and distant world of the rich and famous. I covet many of the ways of those who are close by and not so rich nor famous. Here are some persons who I love whose blogs I love to read --and why or what I covet:
Fashion Sense
Acting Chops
Handling Mormon Domesticity with Wry-ness...oh, and a nice new house
Cleverness in Writing, Acting, Directing
Coolness
Overall Lifestyle Style

And I'm trying to overcome this covetousness and be ok with, well, me. You see, way back in the third grade, I moved to a new school and suddenly was a nyerd which was baffling to me. So I, naturally, asked a nice popular girl, "Will you make me popular?" (I must have said that in an unconscious effort to solidify my nyerd status.) I think ever since then, my life has been painfully focussed on fitting in with the cool crowd. Although what I deem makes someone "cool" has changed, I find myself reeking with desperation in my attempts to justify and further my associations. I really want to be done with that. So, I'm back to blogging and this time around my posts are going to be me laid bare. No artifices. No pleas for acceptance.


Anyone still reading?


I hope so...

The Golden Age

Is there anything more magnificent than Cate Blanchett in the throes of righteous indignation?




I too have a hurricane in me!

P.S. There's a better trailer on imdb.

What I've been up to lately

But I'm beginning to feel out of the loop of adult type humans, so I plan to blog more in the future. I'm also going to dedicate some time to the writing exercize blog Scribbler's Nest.

Three kids, two blogs, and one calling as cubmaster.

Stay tuned...

I Have The Cutest Kids In The World

And here's my proof:

And You Are...???

Hello *sheepish grin*

Well, since it's almost time for conference again, I thought I'd give a little shout out to all you fine folks who are no longer reading my blog for lack of new material.

You may have noticed the change in the template. I thought a fresh start was in order. And I'm going to have to relearn everything I ever new about html code. (Luckily, that's not much.)

So, Hi! How've you been? Really... Did you hear Steve Irwin died. I think it's very sad and yet, he died in at the hand (stinger?) of a re-oh biutay who was just saying, "Dayn juh." (I can't really speak with an Australian accent, so why did I think I could write in one?)

Speaking of celebrities, I met one, you know. Yup, and I was really excited about it too. I'd like to say that I conducted myself with aplomb and that my wit and charm made quite an impression on him. I'd like to say that.

Here's kinda how it went (it was a couple of weeks ago, so there may be some literary license):

EXT. Base Camp for the film "Forever Strong"-DAY

OUR HERO (that's me, not the Celebrity) anxiously stands by with a toddler on her hip (complete with squished animal crackers in hand and crumbs covering mouth) and a diaper bag over her shoulder, waiting for the second second AD to set up an introduction. The 2nd 2nd rushes by toward the Celebrity's trailer. Moments later he returns, Celebrity in tow, clearly making a bee-line to set. She catches the 2nd 2nd's eye. His look says, "Not now." (No, duh, I know my way around a film set, you know) But the Celebrity notices the exchange and veers away from the bee-line with hand outstretched.

CELEBRITY
What's your name?

OUR HERO
(stammering)
Hillary Straga

CELEBRITY
(indicating toddler)
And who's this?

OUR HERO
(recovering somewhat)
This is Moira.

CELEBRITY
Nice name.

Our Hero notices the 2nd 2nd doing the "Anxious AD Dance."

OUR HERO
But you've got to get to set.

EXT. Base Camp of Forever Strong-LATER

The Celebrity is released from set and walks back to base camp. He sees Our Hero and raises his index finger.

CELEBRITY
Just give me one minute.

He goes to his trailer and returns moments later.

CELEBRITY
Hi.

OUR HERO
(blurting)
I read your book.

CELBRITY
You did? Thanks for taking the time.

OUR HERO
I was wondering if you could...

A tall, lanky crew member approaches and interrupts.

TALL LANKY INTERRUPTING CREW MEMBER
I have a DVD. Could I get you to sign it?

CELEBRITY
Sure.

TALL LANKY INTERRUPTING CREW MEMBER
I'll go get it.

He lumbers off to retreive his precious DVD, oblivious to daggers being thrown at his back from Our Hero's eyes. The Celebrity turns his attention to Our Hero who is awkwardly holding out The Book.

CELEBRITY
Step into my office here on the steps
of the men's honeywagon.

Chuckle.

Our Hero hands the Celebrity The Book and a carefully chosen pen. The Celebrity sits on the steps of the men's honeywagon and opens the book to the title page.

CELEBRITY
What was your name again?

OUR HERO
Hillary. H-I-L-L-Q-D-E-F-T-G-K

She watches the celebrity begin the inscription only half hearing what's coming out of her mouth. The Celebrity stops after "Hilla."

CELEBRITY
Did you say two r's?

OUR HERO
No, just one r, but two l's.

CELEBRITY
I think you said two r's.

OUR HERO
I wouldn't put it past me. I'm a little
nervous.

She wipes her sweaty palms on her jeans and pushes up her glasses, squinting.

CELEBRITY
It's funny to me when people are nervous
about meeting me. Then they talk to
me and realize I'm just a normal guy.
No big deal.

Now is the time for Our Hero to ask the few prepared and rehearsed questions she'd been working on for days in anticipation of meeting the Celebrity.

OUR HERO
I was wondering about the whole SAG
issue with the films. I mean, how did
they get away with it? Was it because
they were out of the country?

Succinctly put. Well done, Hero.

CELEBRITY
Well, New Line didn't pay the
actors. They sent the money to
Wingnut and Wingnut is not a
signatory. Y'know I could have
made a lot more money if it had
been SAG. You get $1000 for every
forced call, and we never got
a full turn around...And SAG could
have gone after the actors, but
they didn't. In my opinion, it's
because they looked at the films
as a great representation of what
SAG actors can do...

Our Hero listens carefully. Almost carefully. She's got to formulate the next question, after all. But, suddenly, asking to see the tatoo seems gauche.

CELEBRITY
...So winning the SAG ensemble
award was pretty ironic, but it's
something I'm very proud of.

OUR HERO
So, they just didn't want to
be the bad guys.

CELEBRITY
Yeah...

OUR HERO
Ummm...My husband and I both
work in film and I was wondering
how you guys work it.

Suddenly that question seems really dumb. After all, Our Hero and her husband have been "working it" quite well for several years now, thank you very much.

CELEBRITY
Well, y'know, we were just
vacationing in Hawaii and I came here
Thursday and they joined me yesterday.
Then they'll go home on Monday and
me on Tuesday. My wife is here, did you meet
her?

OUR HERO
No, but I'd like to.

And so it went how I met The Celebrity. I did meet his wife briefly, and two of his daughters, but then they called lunch and I didn't want to be the reason The Celebrity went into meal penalty. That was TALL, LANKY CREW MEMBER's job.

Oh, right! So here's the book and the inscription.

Getting Ready For Conference

It's 10:30pm on Wednesday night and I am at work making copies on the color printer. This is very time consuming. But as the machine is doing most of the work, I have a moment to catch up on the blogging world.

Mother of the Year and Why That Prize Will Elude Me Again This Year

1. I am at work at 10:30pm on a Wednesday.

2. My baby spends 6 hours a day (more on audition days) with someone other than me.

3. My baby ate pizza tonight.

4. My 6 year old tells bold face lies and rejoices when Daddy doesn't get home in time for scriptures.

5. My 6 year old hasn't practiced piano in days.

6. My baby goes unmonitored for minutes at a time.

However, I do take my baby with me to work for half the day. She does squeal when I pick her up with nearly the excitement she shows when she sees a kitty-kitty. And my boy does read at a third grade level in first grade. He's also loving and articulate. And, hey, if pizza is good enough for the rest of the family...

I got my TR renewed last Sunday. Pres. Sosa interviewed me. It's the first time I've been interviewed by this stake presidency. (Tangent: And may I say I'm pleased as punch to be living in such a diverse white bread community? Pres. Sosa is hispanic and the other counsellor is Maori. Take that Manhattan! You don't have a corner on the culturally diverse market! Recently I helped cast some vignettes for the General Young Women Broadcast. We found people from Japan, Korea, Denmark, Tonga, and Brazil. I've also been able to find French speaking Africans along the Wasatch front. Our recent Old Testament auditions have brought out several Middle Easterners. Further, at least 30% of my neighborhood originated from south of the border. I'm just saying there might be a perception that because I live in Happy Valley, my family is not exposed to multiculturalism and I just don't think that's the case.)
So, Pres. Sosa asked me what my calling was and how it was going. I expressed that I sometimes feel overwhelmed (who doesn't?) and he said that we (meaning the women in the Church) do more than we realize. He said some other things that confirmed to me that he was speaking with inspiration and I'm glad he was living so that I could benefit from that. But that comment on doing more than I realize made me think back to Sis. Parkin's talk in General RS Meeting last September, which we reviewed two weeks ago for Enrichment "RS Birthday" Night, and I think it bears repeating because it made me feel good. And I need to be reminded often of stuff that's true and eternal because sometimes I forget to feel good.

Bonnie D. Parkin said, "Yet as women we are pretty hard on ourselves! Believe me when I say each of us is much better than we think. We need to recognize and celebrate what we're doing right. Much of what we do seems small and insignificant—just a part of daily living. When we are called "to give an account to Jehovah,"4 as the Prophet Joseph counseled, I know that we will have much to share." (emphasis added)

Pres. Sosa also said (I'm paraphrasing) that if I make time to go to the temple, the Lord will make time for everything else. So, I went today and received some personal insights.

I guess the point of this posting is that I'm grateful for personal revelation and inspiration given to those with stewardships. So I'm looking forward to Saturday and Sunday to get my healthy dose of both.

Or, maybe I'm just rambling incoherently because it's now 11:30pm and I'm at work making copies.

It's A Wonderful Night For An Oscar!

About half way through the Oscars last night, I thought of the idea to do a play by play for the blog. But then I was too lazy to get my computer out for the second half. You'll just have to be happy with a recap.

Fun opening sequence. I appreciated Jon Stewart's dry sense of humor. Overall, I think he did a fine job, but I hafta say I'm partial to Billy Crystal. There's something about the Oscars when he does it.

I'll never see Westerns the same again after the first of the odd, unmotivated montages.

One word for George Clooney: suave. I think he's the new Cary Grant--he practically channeled him in Intollerable Cruelty. And about being out of touch. Yeah, yeah. Pushing the envelope on certain issues is good. But maybe not others. And who's to decide which ones? Me, of course.

****
OK I'm actually picking this up two days after the Oscars and after reading the Jolly Porter's take on it all. I know I can't measure up to his wit, but I'm gonna have my say nonetheless!

Here's to motherhood makin' women out of waifs!
Rachel Weisz (maybe not really so waifish, but gorgeous, glowing, and all around puh-fect! What an Oscar winner should be!)
Michelle Williams--bright canary, but ultimately, thumbs up.
Jennifer Garner--Did anyone see 13 Going on 30? Didn't think so. But she has this line where a girl tells her she's wearing a great dress and she says, "Cuz I've got these great boobs to fill it out!" Well, last night was the only time that statement was true. But maybe I'm bitter because now that I've all but weaned Moira, my sweet sistah's have shrivelled to their prepregnancy prepubescent state.

Dolly: What a little fire cracker! But I think I coulda bounced a quarter off her face.

Meryl and Lilly: amazing. That's why they get paid the big bucks. When I grow up, I want to be them.

The campaigns: Loads of fun. I loved "Keira: Acting while beautiful." and the old couple plugging Reese.

It's Hard Out Here Foe A Pimp: I'll say this for them: It's the only song I can still remember. And, yeah, let's get excited about winning an award. I know I would---Just gimme a chance!!!

Best Actor: Phillip was really mesmerizing and subtle (yes, subtle. I'll explain to anyone who wants to hear.) But couldn't we have done something about the caterpillars over his eyes?

Best Actress: I first saw Reese in a movie called "A Far Off Place." She was about 14 and I said to myself, "That girl has got it." She was charming in Walk The Line. Her hair was pretty, elegant, and feminine.

Best and Worst Dressed: Salma Hayak's dress was my favorite. Wow. Can I look like that, please??!! Naomi Watts was the worst. I think she'd been running through the jungle with Kong before coming on stage. A close second was the dead crow perched on Charlize's shoulder.

Oh, director and picture?? Thought I forgot, didn't you? Thought I was going to avoid the touchy subject of the Elephant in the room?

Did anyone notice that the Asian directed the gay American movie and the gay American directed the Asian movie? (OK, so I don't know Rob Marshall's orientation, but, c'mon! He directs musicals!)

Some have said that Crash is as pretentious and overrated as Titanic. I don't think anything could be as overrated as Titanic. Just didn't get that one. And while I liked Brokeback Mountain, it did not blow me away. I find that I could quit it quite easily. And Crash did affect me. It caused me to examine myself because it did hit me over the head.

And on to the Governor's Ball. What is up with E!'s reporters??!! I don't know which was more embarrassing. Julianne (is that her name?) revealing her girl crush on JLo. "You should see her when there's only a bush separating you." Did she really say that? OR That horrid E! Bailey's Bar Lounge thingy with a bunch of nobodies. Who wants to see nobodies on Oscar night?
One other fun moment was at the Vanity Fair party when Venus and Serena and their ARMS were interviewed. I don't know which is which, but one said her favorite winner was Phillip Semen Hoffmore.

That's a wrap. Good night, and Good Luck!

Johari Window

I really needed to post again and I should have more time soon as Much Ado is now over. *sniffle,sniffle* This is a little experiment that big corporations do to figure out employees' personalities, etc. So, some friends have responded to mine and here are the results. If you'd like this opportunity to let me know how you really feel about me, go to http://kevan.org/johari?view=Hillary%20S.

Arena (known to self and others) dependable, intelligent, religious	Blind Spot (known only to others) able, accepting, bold, brave, calm, clever, confident, extroverted, giving, happy, idealistic, ingenious, kind, knowledgeable, loving, observant, organised, patient, relaxed, responsive, searching, self-assertive, sentimental, silly, sympathetic, trustworthy, warm, witty
Façade (known only to self) cheerful, friendly, reflective	Unknown (known to nobody) adaptable, caring, complex, dignified, energetic, helpful, independent, introverted, logical, mature, modest, nervous, powerful, proud, quiet, self-conscious, sensible, shy, spontaneous, tense, wise

All Percentages

able (33%) accepting (33%) adaptable (0%) bold (11%) brave (11%) calm (11%) caring (0%) cheerful (0%) clever (44%) complex (0%) confident (22%) dependable (22%) dignified (0%) energetic (0%) extroverted (22%) friendly (0%) giving (11%) happy (11%) helpful (0%) idealistic (11%) independent (0%) ingenious (22%) intelligent (33%) introverted (0%) kind (22%) knowledgeable (11%) logical (0%) loving (22%) mature (0%) modest (0%) nervous (0%) observant (22%) organised (11%) patient (11%) powerful (0%) proud (0%) quiet (0%) reflective (0%) relaxed (11%) religious (11%) responsive (22%) searching (11%) self-assertive (11%) self-conscious (0%) sensible (0%) sentimental (11%) shy (0%) silly (22%) spontaneous (0%) sympathetic (11%) tense (0%) trustworthy (33%) warm (11%) wise (0%) witty (22%)

Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 27.2.2006, using data from 9 respondents.
You can make your own Johari Window, or view Hillary S's full data.