Getting Ready For Conference

It's 10:30pm on Wednesday night and I am at work making copies on the color printer. This is very time consuming. But as the machine is doing most of the work, I have a moment to catch up on the blogging world.

Mother of the Year and Why That Prize Will Elude Me Again This Year

1. I am at work at 10:30pm on a Wednesday.

2. My baby spends 6 hours a day (more on audition days) with someone other than me.

3. My baby ate pizza tonight.

4. My 6 year old tells bold face lies and rejoices when Daddy doesn't get home in time for scriptures.

5. My 6 year old hasn't practiced piano in days.

6. My baby goes unmonitored for minutes at a time.

However, I do take my baby with me to work for half the day. She does squeal when I pick her up with nearly the excitement she shows when she sees a kitty-kitty. And my boy does read at a third grade level in first grade. He's also loving and articulate. And, hey, if pizza is good enough for the rest of the family...

I got my TR renewed last Sunday. Pres. Sosa interviewed me. It's the first time I've been interviewed by this stake presidency. (Tangent: And may I say I'm pleased as punch to be living in such a diverse white bread community? Pres. Sosa is hispanic and the other counsellor is Maori. Take that Manhattan! You don't have a corner on the culturally diverse market! Recently I helped cast some vignettes for the General Young Women Broadcast. We found people from Japan, Korea, Denmark, Tonga, and Brazil. I've also been able to find French speaking Africans along the Wasatch front. Our recent Old Testament auditions have brought out several Middle Easterners. Further, at least 30% of my neighborhood originated from south of the border. I'm just saying there might be a perception that because I live in Happy Valley, my family is not exposed to multiculturalism and I just don't think that's the case.)
So, Pres. Sosa asked me what my calling was and how it was going. I expressed that I sometimes feel overwhelmed (who doesn't?) and he said that we (meaning the women in the Church) do more than we realize. He said some other things that confirmed to me that he was speaking with inspiration and I'm glad he was living so that I could benefit from that. But that comment on doing more than I realize made me think back to Sis. Parkin's talk in General RS Meeting last September, which we reviewed two weeks ago for Enrichment "RS Birthday" Night, and I think it bears repeating because it made me feel good. And I need to be reminded often of stuff that's true and eternal because sometimes I forget to feel good.

Bonnie D. Parkin said, "Yet as women we are pretty hard on ourselves! Believe me when I say each of us is much better than we think. We need to recognize and celebrate what we're doing right. Much of what we do seems small and insignificant—just a part of daily living. When we are called "to give an account to Jehovah,"4 as the Prophet Joseph counseled, I know that we will have much to share." (emphasis added)

Pres. Sosa also said (I'm paraphrasing) that if I make time to go to the temple, the Lord will make time for everything else. So, I went today and received some personal insights.

I guess the point of this posting is that I'm grateful for personal revelation and inspiration given to those with stewardships. So I'm looking forward to Saturday and Sunday to get my healthy dose of both.

Or, maybe I'm just rambling incoherently because it's now 11:30pm and I'm at work making copies.

It's A Wonderful Night For An Oscar!

About half way through the Oscars last night, I thought of the idea to do a play by play for the blog. But then I was too lazy to get my computer out for the second half. You'll just have to be happy with a recap.

Fun opening sequence. I appreciated Jon Stewart's dry sense of humor. Overall, I think he did a fine job, but I hafta say I'm partial to Billy Crystal. There's something about the Oscars when he does it.

I'll never see Westerns the same again after the first of the odd, unmotivated montages.

One word for George Clooney: suave. I think he's the new Cary Grant--he practically channeled him in Intollerable Cruelty. And about being out of touch. Yeah, yeah. Pushing the envelope on certain issues is good. But maybe not others. And who's to decide which ones? Me, of course.

****
OK I'm actually picking this up two days after the Oscars and after reading the Jolly Porter's take on it all. I know I can't measure up to his wit, but I'm gonna have my say nonetheless!

Here's to motherhood makin' women out of waifs!
Rachel Weisz (maybe not really so waifish, but gorgeous, glowing, and all around puh-fect! What an Oscar winner should be!)
Michelle Williams--bright canary, but ultimately, thumbs up.
Jennifer Garner--Did anyone see 13 Going on 30? Didn't think so. But she has this line where a girl tells her she's wearing a great dress and she says, "Cuz I've got these great boobs to fill it out!" Well, last night was the only time that statement was true. But maybe I'm bitter because now that I've all but weaned Moira, my sweet sistah's have shrivelled to their prepregnancy prepubescent state.

Dolly: What a little fire cracker! But I think I coulda bounced a quarter off her face.

Meryl and Lilly: amazing. That's why they get paid the big bucks. When I grow up, I want to be them.

The campaigns: Loads of fun. I loved "Keira: Acting while beautiful." and the old couple plugging Reese.

It's Hard Out Here Foe A Pimp: I'll say this for them: It's the only song I can still remember. And, yeah, let's get excited about winning an award. I know I would---Just gimme a chance!!!

Best Actor: Phillip was really mesmerizing and subtle (yes, subtle. I'll explain to anyone who wants to hear.) But couldn't we have done something about the caterpillars over his eyes?

Best Actress: I first saw Reese in a movie called "A Far Off Place." She was about 14 and I said to myself, "That girl has got it." She was charming in Walk The Line. Her hair was pretty, elegant, and feminine.

Best and Worst Dressed: Salma Hayak's dress was my favorite. Wow. Can I look like that, please??!! Naomi Watts was the worst. I think she'd been running through the jungle with Kong before coming on stage. A close second was the dead crow perched on Charlize's shoulder.

Oh, director and picture?? Thought I forgot, didn't you? Thought I was going to avoid the touchy subject of the Elephant in the room?

Did anyone notice that the Asian directed the gay American movie and the gay American directed the Asian movie? (OK, so I don't know Rob Marshall's orientation, but, c'mon! He directs musicals!)

Some have said that Crash is as pretentious and overrated as Titanic. I don't think anything could be as overrated as Titanic. Just didn't get that one. And while I liked Brokeback Mountain, it did not blow me away. I find that I could quit it quite easily. And Crash did affect me. It caused me to examine myself because it did hit me over the head.

And on to the Governor's Ball. What is up with E!'s reporters??!! I don't know which was more embarrassing. Julianne (is that her name?) revealing her girl crush on JLo. "You should see her when there's only a bush separating you." Did she really say that? OR That horrid E! Bailey's Bar Lounge thingy with a bunch of nobodies. Who wants to see nobodies on Oscar night?
One other fun moment was at the Vanity Fair party when Venus and Serena and their ARMS were interviewed. I don't know which is which, but one said her favorite winner was Phillip Semen Hoffmore.

That's a wrap. Good night, and Good Luck!

Johari Window

I really needed to post again and I should have more time soon as Much Ado is now over. *sniffle,sniffle* This is a little experiment that big corporations do to figure out employees' personalities, etc. So, some friends have responded to mine and here are the results. If you'd like this opportunity to let me know how you really feel about me, go to http://kevan.org/johari?view=Hillary%20S.

Arena (known to self and others) dependable, intelligent, religious	Blind Spot (known only to others) able, accepting, bold, brave, calm, clever, confident, extroverted, giving, happy, idealistic, ingenious, kind, knowledgeable, loving, observant, organised, patient, relaxed, responsive, searching, self-assertive, sentimental, silly, sympathetic, trustworthy, warm, witty
Façade (known only to self) cheerful, friendly, reflective	Unknown (known to nobody) adaptable, caring, complex, dignified, energetic, helpful, independent, introverted, logical, mature, modest, nervous, powerful, proud, quiet, self-conscious, sensible, shy, spontaneous, tense, wise

All Percentages

able (33%) accepting (33%) adaptable (0%) bold (11%) brave (11%) calm (11%) caring (0%) cheerful (0%) clever (44%) complex (0%) confident (22%) dependable (22%) dignified (0%) energetic (0%) extroverted (22%) friendly (0%) giving (11%) happy (11%) helpful (0%) idealistic (11%) independent (0%) ingenious (22%) intelligent (33%) introverted (0%) kind (22%) knowledgeable (11%) logical (0%) loving (22%) mature (0%) modest (0%) nervous (0%) observant (22%) organised (11%) patient (11%) powerful (0%) proud (0%) quiet (0%) reflective (0%) relaxed (11%) religious (11%) responsive (22%) searching (11%) self-assertive (11%) self-conscious (0%) sensible (0%) sentimental (11%) shy (0%) silly (22%) spontaneous (0%) sympathetic (11%) tense (0%) trustworthy (33%) warm (11%) wise (0%) witty (22%)

Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 27.2.2006, using data from 9 respondents.
You can make your own Johari Window, or view Hillary S's full data.

Eye-Eye

Last night Moira slept in her crib, thereby allowing me a restful night's sleep. Which is what makes my awakening all the more rude.
At 6:15am, something scratched my right eye. Yes, while I was sleeping (and having a great dream about Anthony making his first movie--a horror movie, of course) my eyeball was scratched. And the scratching continued for the next hour and a half.
***Warning: The following is boring exposition!***
A few years ago I was diagnosed with Graves Disease which affects the thyroid and the tissue behind the eyes. My thyroid has since been killed off through radioactive iodine treatment, but my eyes have not been treated as there really is no treatment. The tissue behind the eyes swells causing the eyes to bulge. You may have noticed my resemblance to Marty Feldman who also suffered from thyroid related orbitopathy. Well, anyway, one of my eyes seems to be receding while the other continues to "bug," which is great for comedy, incidentally. But every now and then my eyes cause me problems such as I had this morning.
***
This morning I felt as if there were a tiny jagged rock glued to the inside of my eyelid. I tried to flush it out. And heaven knows I was producing enough tears to wash away a zen garden. I could not close my eyes without pain. I could not open my eyes fully without pain. And so I sat on my bathroom floor in a Napolean Dynamite gaze. I came to realize that were I ever a prisoner of war and tortured, I would presently go mad. For it is true that for an hour and a half this morning I was a prime candidate for Bellevue. (Anthony even said--once I was sane again--that I was not acting human) Yes, dear friends, this morning I had to continually remind myself what rational behavior was. In my mind the only things I wanted to do were throw things, hit my head against a wall, and break dishes. I was Maher-shalal-hashbaz.
At about 7:45am, the pain subsided. No rock was dislodged from my eye; not even an eyelash. The pain just stopped. What in the name of all that is holy was that all about???!!!

It's The Day Of The Show, Y'all! It's The Day Of The Show!

Well, it's a few days after the day of the show. But here's a shameless plug anyway.
Opening night was sold out and we had a great time! Audiences (all two of them so far) have been really responsive. So, yay!
This is a picture of Dona Joan (me) ruining Hero's (Alexis Wardle) wedding. (insert maniacal laughter--which, incidentally, I cannot manage to produce)
This is a really great cast and expertly directed. We have fun performing it and you will have fun watching it!
The show runs through February 25 on Mondays, Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays at 7:30pm and gets over usually about 9:45pm. It's at 105 East 100 North in Provo.
Click on this posting's title and buy tickets now! You will regret not seeing it!
Was that shameless enough?
Here's something more shameful. Anyone who sees the show can write a mini review in the comments. Only if it's complimentary, of course! I will delete anything detrimental to the success of the show!!! (another maniacal laugh)

Just Because It's Been A While

Hello, Adoring Public!
(All 27 of you according to my new counter.)
So, yeah, I've been working during the day and having rehearsal at night the last couple of weeks and haven't felt like I had much to say. There's always the New Year's Resolutions, but that might be taking myself too seriously and one of my resolutions this year is to be more light hearted. I think worrying has increased the ugly furrow wrinkle between my brows. It just keeps getting deeper and deeper until, one day, if I'm not careful, I will have a perpetual scowl on my face.
But I'm not going to worry about that!
I'm not going to worry about my children getting colds, either. Cuz, guess what! They go away! And usually just when you think they won't. Last night Moira slept in her crib all night long without a peep! We checked her this morning to make sure she was still alive. She has slept the better part of the last two weeks in our bed, crying out and slamming her legs on the bed every hour or so. But not last night! And, hallelujah! I feel well rested. Sort of. It still wasn't enough to induce me to get out of bed and go running at the Smith Field House. (One of those pesky resolutions I wasn't going to mention.) Tomorrow is another day, right Scarlet?
The other day I went to the mall to have my hair coiffed (and chopped into a bob a la early flapper) and I visited my friend at the Meier and Frank. I decided to ask her for some fashion advice, as I am fashion challenged. I said, "If I were to attend the Sundance Film Festival, what would you put me in?" It's a fantasy I have that people would actually care what I wear to swank event like that. I probably won't actually go this year (performances), but next year, a film I worked on will be all the buzz in Park City! (Ooops! Another resolution snuck out.) And then at least I'll care what I wear because there will be photos taken for Entertainment Weekly, Premier, and People. It's a little bit discouraging to think of though, because there are so many people out there trying to do exactly what I'm trying to do. But I'm not going to worry about that, either! There's room enough for everybody!
Heigh-ho!

Spooky How Well They Know Me

Your Birthdate: October 29

You have the mind of an artist, even if you haven't developed the talent yet. Expressive and aware, you enjoy finding new ways to share your feelings. You often feel like you don't fit in - especially in traditional environments. You have big dreams. The problem is putting those dreams into action. Your strength: Your vivid imagination Your weakness: Fear of failure Your power color: Coral Your power symbol: Oval Your power month: November

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Jolly Ole Saint Nickel-less: Or How I Turned Off the Christmas Machine Out of Economic Necessity and Ended Up Being Glad

What a festive time of year! So festive that no one wants to be in the middle of making a movie during the holidays. Ergo: Mass unemployment for those hapless creative types who are masochistic enough to want to work in film. While some might think it's fun to have loads of time off during the Season, I think they are the Some that have normal jobs with things called "benefits" like paid vacation. But I have made my bed and now I must lie in it (until it gets repossesed). It is a bed I happily lie in when I can say things like, "I'm going to the premiere tomorrow night," and "Our film is getting lots of buzz at Sundance." O.K. I'm still waiting to say that second one. The point is there's Glamour in this biz and the "starving" part is just the baggage that goes along with being able to call oneself an artist. Right?

So the other day I went into Media Play to spend the remaining bits of a gift card to make sure Anthony had something to open on Christmas Day on Christmas Day. I tell you, there were some kids there who should not be getting a visit from the Jolly Elf. Also, it doesn't surprise me one bit that Media Play is going out of business. They call 20% off a total store clearance??? Excuse me, but you're just now getting down to the same price as the rest of the retail world. I think the Scrooge at Media Play corporate headquarters must be green, furry, and have a heart three sizes too small. Or am I mixing metaphors...

That day out at Media Play was really my first and only foray into the wide world of Christmas consumer lust this year. And I realized that it's ugly and annoying and and and maybe I just feel that way because I would really like to get some nice gifts for the special people in my life and I'd also like to have some left over to do the Angel Tree thing. But I can't and it's really not making me terribly sad. Not like I thought it would.

Anthony does have---Christmas miracle---work the day after Christmas, so we decided to save the non existent gas money and stay here in Provo for Christmas. That means our Christmas will be devoid of the family party. And I'm ok with that. It means that I'll sleep in my bed on Christmas Eve. I'm really ok with that. It means that we'll be just the four of us opening a few presents on Christmas Day on Christmas Day. It means that we'll go to Church for only an hour on Christmas Day in the morning. Then we'll spend the rest of the day eating, watching movies, and hopefully playing some games together. (Backgammon---I always win!) It's quiet, it's cozy, it's family. It's Christmas.

What To Get For That Someone Who Has Everything

Tired of noisy toys and stuff you don't know what to do with when Christmas is over? I think this is a great alternative to stuff stuff and stuff. And it promotes a sense of stewardship and global awareness.

http://www.adoption.co.uk
and
http://www.greatgifts.org

Merry Christmas!!!

Adventures in Character Development Parte the First

So, I'm in the play Much Ado About Nothing. I'm very excited to be in it. I'm playing a female version of Don John (the Keanu Reeves character). I looked forward to the auditions for many months and when the time came to audition, I prepared a fair amount, I'd say. I was very anxious to be a part of the show. First of all, it's Shakespeare and I'd only ever done scenes of Shakespeare in acting classes. To conclude, it's being done at Provo Theatre Company which is "Utah County's Only Professional Theatre." Sixth, and lastly, the director is really cool and knows his Shakespeare. I felt pretty good about my audition. And I certainly know that all you can do in an audition is your best because you can't control if you're too tall, or if someone thinks you have funny speech patterns, or if someone else is sleeping with some decision maker.
I was thrilled to get the call that I had been cast.

And then I panicked.

When I was accepted to film school, I more or less left acting for about 10 years to pursue behind the scenes stuff. After I had been working as a casting director for a year or so I decided it was time to throw my hat in the ring again. I was not very familiar with local theatres so I just called them all to find out about upcoming auditions. I was soon cast in a production of Servant of Two Masters playing Beatrice. It was a bad production. For example, one of the director's directions to some young cast members was "Show some feeling in this scene." His instruction to us the night before we opened was, "Make sure you have your lines and blocking memorized."
After that, I got an agent for film work and actually got a couple of commercials and a small part in a movie that was mercifully excluded from the final cut. All of that, though, is just snippets of character. A few lines. Thirty seconds of air time. Certainly nothing you have to sustain. Nothing to sink one's teeth into.

Thus the panic. It's really been a long time. What if I can't really do this? What if I actually suck and nobody's told me yet but they're all thinking it?

The third day of rehearsal we were blocking the scenes I'm in and I was a stone. A dull, feelingless stone devoid of any creative spark. I knew I could see behind Chris's eyes regret at having cast me. Was the young actor playing Conrad repulsed at having to play opposite and old hag like me? I thought so. At work the next day I told Alisa of my feelings of being woefully inadequate. She was supportive and assured me that she knew I could and would do great and make it funny. After all, she reminded me, we've only had three reahearsals.

Armed with reassurances from her and dear Anthony, I worked on my lines during the week and thought about character in preparation for the first act blocking run through on Saturday.
I found a picture of a dress that was used in a film in 1918(the year we're setting the play) that gave me an image. And, although I've got more time to work this out, here's where I'm headed: Equal parts spider, snake and Norma Desmond.


And Saturday's rehearsal went so much better.
I'm just going to ignore what's behind Chris's eyes.